For previous few weeks I was thinking a lot...
Everything that related with my schedule life at this IIUM. I think, my life was not pack enough, although I have lots of assignments... mid-terms... the never-ending AKHI programmes... MRC Ali...(for now, they didn't give any task to me yet.) This is just my first semester. But already being so active and hectic, just like I'm in the high class of the management board.
I started to feel tired finishing my assignments... less time sitting in library recently... studying last minutes for mid-terms... low career marks... it is not the same any more, like the first month... Where I am more committed in my study...
I started to feel worried... How was my mid-term marks... How was my unfinished assignments... What was they (my groups and friends) up to the assignments... are they concerned about the unfinished assignments?... are they thinking about me?... are they concerned about me?... is it okay for me and them since I spend less time with them?
But it is strange that I did nothing for the better of my study... and less time having fun with my friends... Sometimes I felt the ways they having fun was not the same with the way I am... Sometimes I felt they didn't worry about anything at all... just having fun... When I started to read a book, they say "Ko ni... rajin betul la..." Am I really that diligent?... I just thinking and worried...But doing nothing...
In fact, I felt better busying myself with the society... spend few ringgit for AKHI programs... Managing the events and systems in the the society... less sleep... less eat... Sometimes more headache... more worries...and more tiring...
My friends said... I am over active... am I really that active?... I think, other people in the society was just active the way I am... may be that's the way I spend my time and having fun... may be laughing around, smoking, watching movies every night, sitting at cafe for few hours, was not my style...
Is it every active person feel the way I feel? or it is just me? I think I already lost from the real path, that I am a student... came here to study... came here to fulfill my parents dreams... came here to decorate a bright path for my future... But, as I said, I did nothing to improved.
Am I really lost?... How about my friends?... are they lost?... I think the way I spend my time was more beneficial... I think my life was not so pack with never-ending activities, since I can still spend my time playing computer games... Blogging... Calculating my account books... Still have time to eat and sit with my friends.
What makes me feel so complicated?...What makes people think that I am complicated?... I am that complicated?... Is it hard for me to feel a simple life?... is it hard for people to view me as a simple person?... Or is it everything that I was thinking about is just my mind trap?
3 comments:
jai... my advise is, you have to set your goal here. you come here to study or to get involve in society? later, if you graduate, when u want to apply for jobs, what first thing goes in mind of your future boss? CGPA or cocuriculum certificates? later, what people will ask: how much CGPA you get? or how many certificates from UIA you hold? i don't say that being active in society activities does not help you in any way, but you must set your priority! ya! that's the key word - priority! i myself get involve in QYC, sciencess (not really contributed) and caring club but then whenever i have assignments, quizzes, or exam, i will say no for any activities without any compromy! Apart from that, I have put link to your blog, hope you do so too… I have decorated to look nicer, and now it is! Wassalam.. good luck bro….
Erm..kejayaan tak diukur melalui berapa banyak yang kita capai tapi berapa banyak cabaran yang kita lalui..all the best ma3a tawfiq wannaggah..khair insya allah..what make a kite flies?
actualy..
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